He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
