shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
