Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
