im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
