On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
