so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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