How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
