it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
