he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
