he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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