So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
