he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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