I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
