The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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