my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
