playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
