If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
