I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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