Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it's like iHOP with fire
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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