I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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