Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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