Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
