I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We got so high we made milksteak
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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