I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
