How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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