Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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