Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
