when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's blow job season.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
