Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
