dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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