I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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