I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
