I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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