idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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