i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
