I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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