and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
