Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
