covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
