I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Randomize
