is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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