i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
