We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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