and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
