she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
