Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize