he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just high enough for therapy.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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