Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
