..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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