I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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