I just made out with a guy for $7.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
