that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
