Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
