It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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