i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
