new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
