Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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