I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
