My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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