lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
