Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hippo gnu deer
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
