I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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